Brought to you by Educational Cut Backs - Americans Lacking in Economic and Mathematical Understanding a Problem? Does 1+1=3?
Good Morning! Rise and Shine! Get that Cup O' Joe...
break out the O.J....hang out with the pooch...time to check out the money funnies.
Breaking...The Onion News: Congress Continues Debate Over Whether Or Not Nation Should Be Economically Ruined:
Members of the U.S. Congress reported Wednesday they were continuing to carefully debate the issue of whether or not they should allow the country to descend into a roiling economic meltdown of historically dire proportions. "It is a question that, I think, is worthy of serious consideration: Should we take steps to avoid a crippling, decades-long depression that would lead to disastrous consequences on a worldwide scale? Or should we not do that?" asked House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA), adding that arguments could be made for both sides, and that the debate over ensuring America’s financial solvency versus allowing the nation to default on its debt—which would torpedo stock markets, cause mortgage and interests rates to skyrocket, and decimate the value of the U.S. dollar—is “certainly a conversation worth having.” "Obviously, we don't want to rush to consensus on whether it is or isn't a good idea to save the American economy and all our respective livelihoods from certain peril until we've examined this thorny dilemma from every angle. And if we’re still discussing this matter on Aug. 2, well, then, so be it.” At press time, President Obama said he personally believed the country should not be economically ruined.
Armadebtdon 2011 - National Bulls**t Ceiling
The U.S. Department of Labor initiates a new program and creates 20,000 new hobbies for America's Jobless:
The federal government announced Monday that 20,000 new hobbies would be made available to the nation's 14 million unemployed people in an effort to keep them occupied with mildly diverting pastimes.
Cartoonist: Nate Beeler
Debt Ceiling Deadline Conspiracy
Cartoonist: Tom Toles
China agrees to take a debt hair cut if Americans dress up in Silly costumes and dance for them:
In what it's describing as a magnanimous gesture toward an economy in decline, the Chinese government announced Monday it would forgive a portion of the staggering U.S. debt if Americans agreed to dress up in costumes and perform silly dances for their amusement.
With his nation holding $1.16 trillion in federal bonds and the U.S. showing no signs of ending its dependence on foreign credit, President Hu Jintao told reporters that allowing Americans to ease their fiscal burden in proportion to the number and quality of colorful dance numbers they perform is a mutually beneficial arrangement for both countries.
Cartoonist: Tom Toles
We Owe A Lot
Cartoonist: R.J. Matson